Sunday, April 12, 2009

Why does God Prefers Younger Ones?

I write this with a very sad state of mind. It is about two losses of my life. The first one was six years back and the second was just four days back. I lost my brothers. Both were younger to me. First brother whom I lost six years back, was a very loving brother for all the siblings. My father passed away 54 years back. I was living with my husband's family. My mother, three brothers and a sister became almost helpless. My first brother took it as a challenge to lift the family from a very difficult condition. He was just 18. Working in a private company in Calcutta. Along with work, he did his M.Com and got a job in LIC at Calcutta. The second brother after completing his SSLC started an ayurvedic medical shop. He was very brilliant in studies, but the circumstances forced him to discontinue studies. After some time, a primary school started in our village. He managed to do teachers training and got a job as a teacher in that school. Then the ayurvedic shop became part-time. He looked after the family, with the help of my first brother's financial support. They managed to conduct marriage of my younger sister. Then my first brother moved to kerala from calcutta, and he got married. He couldn't take his wife to place where he worked, as he wanted to save as much money for the education of the youngest brother. The youngest one completed his B.Ed course and got a job as a teacher. He had to wait for 2 years to take his wife to the place where he worked. His sudden demise six years back was a real shock for me. I can not forget the help that he has done to me. Realizing that my son could not get good education in our native village, he took him with him to Trivandrum, put him in a good school, then college and ensured that he became an engineer. With that help, my son went on to do a Ph.D. from IIT. He helped everyone who needed help. Be it relatives or not. His life was full of selfless service, that too without making any noise. When he left us, I prayed to god "Why are you taking younger ones keeping me here, who is elder?"

Last week my youngest brother passed away in a sudden heart attack. He too was very loving brother and we all siblings had a special consideration for the youngest one. His children are settled and in the last two months he spent time with his one year old grandson. I can imagine how happy he would have been playing with his grand child. My great grand children are older than his grandson. Memories are fresh in my mind, when he grew in my lap, when he was infant and young boy. Because of circumstances at home, I had to take care of him and his all needs during his childhood. My mother was going through a bit of depression at that time. During his first job as a teacher in my village (where i was staying with my husband's family) he stayed with us for two years. At that time I didn't have to do anything for him. It was my mother-in-law who took care of him just as her own son. I believe that, my mother-in-law's love towards him was a reflection of her love towards me. He use to call us once in a while to talk over phone. Just two weeks back, he was expressing his happiness of spending time with his grand son. I couldn't bear the news of his passing away. I am still in shock. Again the same question pops up in my mind when I pray "Why are you taking the younger ones keeping me here, who is elder?".

Friday, January 23, 2009

Sixty Years Together....

It is after a long gap that I am posting again. Weakness due to age is troubling me these days. Today I am remembering about our wedding day which was on 24th January 60 years back. The whole event comes as a flashback in my mind...

In those days, marriages were conducted during the teenage. Our marriage was also like that. I was on sixteen and my husband was on nineteen. It was arranged by elders in the family and we saw each other only in the mandap during the marriage ceremony. Then we began to love each other. Of course it was a feeling from within and not showing off like these days what people do.

Ours was a family of seven; my in-laws, two brothers-in law and a sister-in-law. My husband was the eldest, so I had added responsibilities. First one year I had some difficulties to adjust to the new environment. I loved everyone as my own, in spite of resistance from younger ones in the family. In an year's time they also started liking me.

When I look back the 60 years.... We have three children, two daughters and a son. All are well settled and living happily. We are satisfied that we have brought them up with values that we believe are good. Daughters are liked by their husband's families. Son is also settled in Mumbai and his wife is like my own daughter. They take care of all our needs.. over and above the love that binds the family. All our grandchildren are also living happily. Four of them have settled with their own family. Altogether we have four cute great grandchildren. Their childish conversation through phone takes us to an entirely different world. Overall our family tree has now 22 members.

I feel, we are reaching the evening of our life. We are quite satisfied with what we have achieved as a couple. Have taken care of in-laws till the last day of their life. Gave love to everyone in the family, even if at times we felt that we didn't get what we gave. Then as a strong believer in 'bhagavat gita', I get happiness in doing things what I believe is right and not expecting anything in return.

Now for time-pass, I am writing stories and novels in our konkani language. My husband and everyone in the family encourages me in that. Two months back when I was felicitated (along with my husband) by our community, in front of a big gathering, I could see tears of happiness in my husband's eyes.

On this day, the 60th anniversary day of our wedding, I pray god to take care of all in my family tree and give them happiness... also dreaming for a world where everyone is happy and contented with no greed and enmity...

Now I pray god to consider "ladies first" when he decides to take us with him...